Confidence 101

When was the last time you walked through the door of a party or social gathering and felt really confident? Excited about the people that were there, happy with your outfit, your hair and your style? No fears about what others were thinking or if someone was judging you or not.
I would venture to say that most women, young and old alike rarely feel this kind of confidence on a regular basis. There are just too many feelings, insecurities and outside reasons that we tend to feel sabotaged when in social settings.

Maybe it was your mom's well intended comment about how you "HAVE to wear some lipstick or else you'll look like death warmed over!" Or it was the mean comment from the ex-boyfriend or male friend about the size of your legs or those tiny spider veins on your thighs. Maybe it was your best friend who while having a competitive moment decided to back handedly criticize your jeans, shoes or hair. All of those little barbs chip away at our self confidence and make us fret and feel less like ourselves and more empty and less of who you were meant to be. Especially if instead of seeing these comments or insults as the other persons problem, we see them as our problem. Really, your moms well intended comment probably came from her own mothers criticism or her own insecurities. That ex-boyfriend was really jealous and wanted to make you feel smaller because he himself was a small person inside. The guy acquaintance that made the flippant remark about the tiny spider veins maybe didn't mean it to be mean but was just being insensitive. The best friend is dealing with her own feelings of insecurity or fear and had a moment of weakness that translated into petty competition.
None of us is perfect but we can do our part to not perpetuate pettiness, unkindness and thoughtless hurtful words.

We can also choose to rise above our hurts and insecurities and work on finding out who we really are inside. When our inner life is full, happy and healthy we don't dwell on past hurts or others failures. Life can be about the joys we experience. Beauty that is encountered in nature and other people. It will be about our own creativity, success and thoughtful acts towards others.
Really, the secret to confidence is inner goodness.  It is focusing on getting to know the people at that party. Enjoying the atmosphere and the company of our friends and family. Making people laugh and laughing with each other!
When your inner life is healthy and full, the styles that you wear, the way your hair is done, how big or small you are doesn't matter as much. Of course it feels good to get dressed up and to work on our appearance but that ultimately won't fulfill you as much as cultivating joy, love and health inside your soul.
Be a person that exudes confidence by being a person that carries an inner light. A light that shines for others to see and follow. Let your beauty be something that radiates from the inside and grows stronger as you grow older. Your relationships will thrive, your life will have meaning and your future will be bright. All of the components to a confident happy life no matter what the social setting or life situation!